10. Stuart Holden—Sentimental and respectful:

Want 2 wish Owen Coyle the best of luck in the future and thank him for believing in me. Forever grateful 4 the opportunity he gave me #bwfc

— Stuart Holden (@stuholden) October 9, 2012

9. A.J. DeLaGarza—Baseball teams should apparently be limited to three pitching changes:

Seriously there needs to be a pitcher substitution rule. This is getting ridiculous..

— AJ DeLaGarza (@AJD_20) October 12, 2012

8. Dax McCarty—An all-time classic:

"Excuse me.... Your epidermis is showing."

— Dax McCarty (@DaxMcCarty11) October 11, 2012

7. Maurice Edu—Just terrific use of the new iPhone’s panorama feature:

Hello Antigua!instagr.am/p/Qp9QqAK6JB/

— Maurice Edu (@MauriceEdu) October 11, 2012

6. Alejandro Bedoya—Yankees fans should thank Bedoya directly for Ibanez’s heroics:

Just seen crazy finish from last nights @yankees game! My old workout partner hit 2 HomeRuns! Congrats Raul Ibanez! twitter.com/AleBedoya17/st…

— Alejandro Bedoya (@AleBedoya17) October 11, 2012

5. Herculez Gomez—Corona and Tijuana teammate Edgar Castillo won’t take too kindly to this one:

@joecorona15 joe, santos vs the puppies is tomorrow, not today bro. #DaleJoe

— herculez gomez (@herculezg) October 12, 2012

4. Heath Pearce—“Hoboken” and “pedicure” don’t generally wind up in the same sentence:

Is anyone in Hoboken right now. I'm going to get a pedicure... If you come with me I'll pay for it. Who's in?

— Heath Pearce (@HeathGPearce) October 11, 2012

3. Zarek Valentin—Interrupting a Duke grad during a VP debate is a big no-no:

Hahahahahahaha I guess @andrewwenger doesn't like me playing guitar during the debate. No need to leave the room man.... #sorrybrah

— Zarek Valentin (@DubbZV) October 12, 2012

2. Eddie Johnson—Maybe not even the best photo to come out of the USMNT’s yacht outing...

#yachtclub twitter.com/eddie_johnson7…

— Eddie Johnson (@eddie_johnson7) October 11, 2012

2a. ...because Carlos Bocanegra's dig at Tim Howard is gold:

"@nickrimando: T-Ho Boca Mo and I #Boatchillin instagr.am/p/QnqUdPKYwd/" 909 with a Jersey shore import

— Carlos Bocanegra (@BocaBoca3) October 10, 2012

1. Maurice Edu—If the “Hot Now” sign isn’t on, don’t bother:

I want a hot original glaze from @krispykreme right now. Somebody make it happen and I'll love you forever! Ok thanks bye :)

— Maurice Edu (@MauriceEdu) October 8, 2012