10. Maurice Edu—#Gimme #Playing #Time

@geoffcameron #hash #effin #tag

— Maurice Edu (@MauriceEdu) December 31, 2012

9. Zarek Valentin—Cool story bro:

Walk. Of. Shame.

— Zarek Valentin (@DubbZV) January 1, 2013

8. Robbie Rogers—As odd as this one may be, unsolicited Dodgeball quotes are fine by us:

Back to life, back to reality... Sing it. 2013 is going to be real freaky naughty.

— Robbie Rogers (@robbierogers) January 2, 2013

7. A.J. DeLaGarza—Was momentarily concerned he was talking about Gio:

Lets go Dos Santos twitter.com/AJD_20/status/…

— AJ DeLaGarza (@AJD_20) December 30, 2012

6. Jermaine Jones—Vegas had the over/under on New Year’s yellow cards at three:

Wish you all the best for next year!! Party night...

— Jermaine Jones(@Jermainejunior) December 31, 2012

5. Dax McCarty—Considering he might be the biggest social media icon of the bunch, much respect to Dax for the tact:

Getting an Instagram can't be my first meaningful act of 2013 so I'm gonna go make snow angels. Instagram second. #hipsterpics #ontheway

— Dax McCarty (@DaxMcCarty11) January 1, 2013

4. Joe Gyau—Evidently we were not invited:

If you didn't hear about the party from me or my homies.... You weren't invited

— Joe Gyau (@JoeGyau36) December 31, 2012

3. C.J. Sapong—We’ll assume he’s talking about Hope Solo:

1st tweet of the year. All I gotta say is YOU are freakin Beautiful! ;) :)

— CJ Sapong (@BigAfrika88) January 2, 2013

2. Brad Evans—Explains why third-graders are so hopped up all the time:

FYI string cheese is actually string crack

— Brad Evans (@brad_evans3) December 30, 2012

1. Juan Agudelo—This is the most adorable thing on the Internet:

EVERYONE'S a role model. Not just only Followed on twitter. twitter.com/jagudelo11/sta…

— Juan Agudelo (@jagudelo11) January 2, 2013